its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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