dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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