dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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