hotel room ftw
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Bring me that man meat
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
