Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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