Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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