also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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