I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
too bad you live with your parents still
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
