i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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