Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
