You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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