I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
