This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
