dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
