I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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