You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
do herpes really smell.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
