just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize