it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize