I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
