She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
