I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
