you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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