More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think im going to throw up on grandma
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
