rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
