she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
