oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
