And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
