i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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