Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
