fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
