Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
