I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
