your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
