oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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