i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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