She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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