JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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