my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize