I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
