He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
