I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
