Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
