When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
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last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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