i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
