a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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