do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This is the high leading the old right now
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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