check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
