Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
