Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize