he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
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