I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Drake has all the answers
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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