I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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