So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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