Do vagina's smell?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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