how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
