Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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