I don't usually arrange sex via text message
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm bleeding and have questions
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize