It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize