Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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