I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
