you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
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So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
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I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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