Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
