just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
