Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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