I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
