loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
