is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
