Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
