I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The air was thick with penises
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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