I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
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I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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