you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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