Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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