You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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