Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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