Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
