i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
