speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
