taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize